“Well, that is nice-nice. But how do you explain this?” I asked myself
as I gazed at the strange tiny object in my hand, as if it was the one that
could not, but to my thinking was not a dream catcher, but the answer to my
“I do not know how it got to me and I did not know I had it in my hand
until the other day -“
You see, I had had to give the package to my little sister, Mary Jo,
twenty-three years ago, to whom I was not close. Mary Jo had been the only
girl in my family until I was an adult, I was her brother’s girl, the only
girl on the block who was not just a sister, but an aunt!
“My sister Mary Jo and I were supposed to be going on a school
trip next weekend, but I was so upset about the loss of the wedding cake that
I asked Mary Jo to return the dream catcher.
“She would not have taken it. I assured her that I had it well hidden
away, but she insisted that she could not pass it onto her boyfriend and
that he was just a friend.”
Now this was my dilemma. I really did not understand why she was so set
on keeping the contents of the dream catcher private.
“She told me that she had told her future husband about it and that he
agreed to marry her and that she now could have a wedding cake for her
Now my mind raced as I thought of how I should have confronted Mary Jo
and explained the dream catcher to her. I should have told her that she could
not have the wedding cake or an engagement ring or anything that would mean
anything to me. It was then that I realized that I should have never offered
her a dream catcher.
“I had thought that I was protecting my granddaughter and helping her to
find another man’s wife, the perfect wife who would complement her
attractive personality,” I thought to myself, “but what I had given her
was really just another dream that was out of focus and in conflict with her
attitude about life!”
By the time I got to the park the next week I had changed my tune. I told
Mary Jo that she really could have one of our wedding cakes for her
sweetheart. I also assured her that she would look lovely in a wedding dress.
So, as I had done at the end of our wedding ceremony I told Mary Jo that she
should try on an old dress and that I would come along to see her in the
afternoon and help her choose her best “dear” dress.
Mary Jo went back to her boyfriend in a daze. She simply could not
understand how any woman could be so set on keeping something that she was
supposed to be passing down to her daughter.
“I told her that it was not that bad and that she had nothing to be
afraid of and that I was sure that her future husband could not be such a
I told Mary Jo that her future husband had promised to marry her, but even
for me I found that difficult to believe. Her future husband had always been
my favorite person. I always felt that he liked me just as much as I liked
him. He was, and still is a very understanding person.
“He had come to our home to see me on occasion and I could never
understand what he could have against me. I asked him why he wanted to marry
me and he had told me that he was not ready to marry yet but that he had to
and he wanted to know me more than anyone else.”
Mary Jo did not have a clue why or how she had been deceived by her future
husband. She did not even think that he could possibly be good for her. She
was always too busy with her music career to spend the time needed for a
“When I told her that her future husband was just a friend she seemed
very upset. She would not talk to me about anything else, and I could
understand why. I could tell that she was not happy.”
“She seemed to really get it after the next week,” I said “and we
talked for a long time on the way home. I could tell that she missed me and
was very sad. But after we discussed the matter on the way home she said that
her future husband would not be able to be a good husband to her and that
she needed to make a decision in the moment.
“I told her what is important to me, my family and my friends, and I
talked about the things that I did not need to talk about because it was not a
conversation that I could have any fun with. I finally just talked to her on
the way home about all the things that I had told her earlier but that she
still had to discuss.”
“I told her that I did not care whether she married another guy or
whether she stayed single and that I loved her and that I was willing to be
whatever it took for her to be happy.”
“And with that she was silent all the way home. She never looked at me
even once. I knew that she would make the right choice, and with the best
intentions for her future but, unfortunately, I was wrong. My future
daughter in law did not deserve to be in a “conversation” with her future
husband that she could not have a good time with.” I finished with a sad