My head cogs down to the ceiling, my mind searching for an answer to her
“I am a horse. What else?”
“Well, there’s a reason I put it in the title. You don’t have to be one to be
in a dream.”
“Is this one?” My eyes travel to the wall and I find a picture of a man
wearing a hat with a horse head with a long neck.
“And my answer is yes.”
“I know what a horse is. I’ve always wanted to be one for all my life.” Then a
moment of hesitation, “I’ve always wanted to be a superhero…”
“And one day, you are.”
“No. I mean…” A small laugh escapes me, “… I want to be like Superman.”
“Are you serious?”
I nod, “I never dreamed of it. But I want to be strong like him.”
“Superman’s never been strong.”
Her words cut through me, like breaking glass. My mind is racing as I feel
her presence slipping away even as I watch her fade into the shadows of the
sky surrounding my office.
“I’ve always wanted to be like Superman.” My lips turn up into a happy grin and
I place my hands on my sides.
“Superman is a hero. You are. You’re an animal.”
I shrug, “I guess.”
“So what do you need to know?”
“How did you know?”
“I watched you dream for months and finally decided it was time to get
“How did you tell if it was really a dream?”
“When you woke up and you couldn’t remember the dream, well, there are no
real answers.” She smiles at me and takes a seat.
My hand reaches out to her, “But…” I turn to her and the smile fades from
“There’s always someone else.”
“That’s not true.”
“What does it matter? This whole dream thing is a way for me to deal with
my past, so I’m going to use it. I’m going to use your dream to heal my
“What is this?” I ask as I wipe my face with a hand.
“This? I don’t know. Maybe it’s true love, or maybe it’s just a random
dream, but either way, it’s a tool.”
“Do you have a dream diary?”
She thinks about it for a moment, “No. But who knows? Maybe one day I’ll tell
you everything I do while on my dream adventures.”
“So I’m supposed to trust that?”
Lira closes her eyes and rubs her jaw. The redness of her lip gloss is
visible under her blue eyes. “Well, there’s also more than one way of
I grab her hand, “And how do you choose which way is right?”
She gives me a curious look. “Who knew?” Lira walks to the doorway and
touches a button on her desk. It turns on a television set and we watch the
latest episode of ‘Dr. Phil,’ a show of my childhood that has been
consistently reruns my entire adolescence.
I’m on the couch, back against the desk with the TV on, when I hear footsteps
and turn my eyes up towards the ceiling. I feel an arm wrap itself around my
upper body. We look upon each other for a moment.
“I was wrong.” I whisper, turning around and pressing my lips against Lira’s.
I can’t believe I’m about to do this. I’m about to try to make a new person
without her. I’m about to become someone I never dreamed of being. And all for
a stupid dream.
Lira smiles and stands. She pulls me to her with her. Her arms wrap around
me and my eyes drift to her lips. The sound of the TV turns into the image of
a horse as we kiss, our tongues entwined.
“You’re amazing.” I say into her mouth.
“You know that, don’t you?”
“I know it. You make me feel alive.”
“I make you feel alive too.” She leans in and kisses me softly on the lips.
My body melts into hers. This feels so right.
We separate and walk towards the bedroom. We enter the bathroom and lock the
“I thought you were supposed to have a diary.”
Lira turns around and looks at me with a smile. “I could never write a diary
on my dream adventures.”
“Really?” I can’t believe what I just heard. And not only is Lira telling me
that her dream doesn’t really matter but she actually thought me was
pretending to have her dream. There’s just something about her that sets off
a little bit of adrenaline in my veins. And I really hope she’s not lying.
“No. But I have a tape recorder.” She pulls out a small tape recorder from her
pocket and presses play on it.
“The next time you feel like you’re in a dream, I’d love to hear your
The tape recorder starts to play, and I hear an angry voice. Lira closes her
eyes and holds my hand out as she listens to the voice.
“I am a horse. I am a horse…”
“I know. So what do you need to know?” The tape recorder turns off and Lira’s
head falls against me. We stay like this for a few minutes. The lights in the
room go out, and I hear an explosion of light and color. I feel Lira’s hands
press down onto my chest, my head falls against her chest and we fall asleep.
I’m so tired. I want to go back to sleep but my mind is racing, and I don’t
want to stop her from telling me her story because all I’ve had are lies.
This was a lie.
It was a way for me to deal with my past.
It was a tool. A magic tool to turn my life around.
I feel something warm on my arm and I place my hand on the soft hairs.
Oh my God. What is this? Lira was touching me. And she really thought she
was in dream.
The tape recorder starts up again and all I can think of is how I have to tell
her everything. Her life. And how she is going to be a different person from
the one I had first met. And I have to tell her so she can tell her story.