“Affirmations are among the most powerful tools we can use for personal transformation. They are highly reliable, easy to use and are based on impeccable logic.” – Gary Craig
The bad news first: Self-sabotaging exists! You have hidden programs that keep you from experiencing too much joy because these programs are trying to keep you safe and take care of you. It’s like you are running an anti-virus program and it’s there in the background. Most of the time, you are totally unaware of it. Suddenly you want to open a bazinga new site on your computer and it springs into action blocking the page.
With your computer, it’s simple. You either decide to override the anti-virus program and open the page anyway, or you pay attention to the anti-virus software and close the page.
In our life, it is not so easy to recognize the anti-virus program and its desire to keep us safe. We want to lose weight, to attract abundance, be healthier, stop smoking and keep getting blocked in our efforts.
Here’s the good news: Affirmations work!
Of course, they do threaten our protection program who sabotages this incredible resource: we decide to start using affirmations and then get discouraged when they don’t work.
What we have to understand is the following, what is the TRUE affirmation? If you say “I easily and consistently earn $$$$ (fill in the number),” your anti-virus program immediately flashes red warning lights and comes up with what in Energy Therapy is called a “tail-ender,” “yes, but” or “stopper thoughts.”
For example the voice in your head says: “If you earn that much money, then your father is not going to like you, your friends and family will be out to get your money, and there’s consequences for that” or ” you don’t have the skill, the talent” or “only greedy people make that much money,” or “who do you think you’re kidding, you’ll never make that much money,” and so on and so forth. They are the tail-enders/ stopper thoughts, the true affirmation, are they not? And they WORK to self-sabotage you, do they not? They will “protect you” and keep you RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
And you’ll notice this, because often you’ll make an affirmation of something that consciously you may want to have, but after a while -it’s not that you just don’t see results, it becomes uncomfortable to say it-in fact often you’ll say: “I’m lying to myself,” and you self-sabotage.
Most people stop saying their affirmations here, convinced that they don’t work. But the beautiful thing is that your conscious mind sets out these affirmations, and through the stopper-thoughts, you get a glimpse of your self-sabotage program! And with that, you discover a gem! You find the negatives that you need to work on and that are keeping you stuck, you find your self-sabotaging parts.
My favourite way of working with these “tail-enders” or “stopper-thoughts” is with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques); write down all these thoughts, tap on all the self-sabotage and get it out of the way. Then you can say your affirmation and have it work for you.
Of course, the affirmation has to be believable, be in present tense and be a positive affirmation. Do I believe EFT (and other Energy Therapies) is the only tool to clean out our self-sabotaging? No, but it has been the most efficient one for me.
When you listen to your tail-enders /stopper-thoughts, you’ll probably notice they are “complaining.” There’s a “poor me” quality to them and we complain to whoever listens. “I tried but… I can’t do it, my father won’t let me, people will be jealous,” etc.
If you want to stop your self-sabotaging cold, stop complaining. First, notice what you are complaining about. Second, notice who you complain to. Use the power of your conscious mind to “fast from complaining” for a day. Hey, fast for an hour if that is what you can do successfully, and then start stretching the time until you are fasting from complaining as a way of life. As you stop complaining, you will probably be affirming more. Doing affirmations will be a joyful part of your day.
So whether you use EFT or a “fast from complaining” or a combination of both, blessings will start to flow in the areas of your life where you used to self-sabotage.
EFT and “tapping” stand for Emotional Freedom Techniques,download my free booklet “Tap Into Your Power with EFT!” from my website to learn more about it.
© Patzia Gonzalez-Baz, 2010
Patzia Gonzalez-Baz, B. Sc. Clinical Member, OSP; D-CEP; EFT-Cert 1; has a Psychotherapy practice in Newmarket, ON and facilitates EFT and TAT sessions in person and on teleconferences.
Patzia specializes in empowering individuals by helping them release their blocks and inhibitions, followed by facilitating positive belief patterns, that allows the individual to step into their own power and bring back their sense of aliveness. Patzia also integrates spiritual awareness and healing, along with many other approaches in her practice, matching the therapy to the individual needs of the client.